The internet is a marvelous tool, allowing us within seconds to access information, contact people around the world, and share our ideas with others. But the internet has also, within a few short years, become the primary avenue for distributing pornography and other sexualized media. Our laptops, cell phones, and other internet-ready devices have become a 24-7 resource, delivering all kinds of material with just a few clicks and perhaps a search word or two. How can we protect ourselves and our families against the infiltration of pornography, and the tremendously addictive potential of this increasingly prevalent problem?
-- Defending against pornography has two faces --
- First, to help those already addicted to porn to escape its enslaving influence; and
- Second, to fortify ourselves and our families against exposure to it.
It can be useful to describe this process with an acronym: DEFEND:
D - Discriminate |
E - Educate |
F - Filter |
E - Exemplify |
N - Neutralize |
D - Delight |
D - Discriminate: Discriminating pornography is a first step to defending against it. We must recognize what pornography is, the forms in which it appears, and the destructive impact it has upon ourselves, our families, and our society.
E - Educate: We must learn and then teach others why internet porn is so incredibly addictive; who it affects; how it operates; and how we can avoid or neutralize its destructive influence.
F - Filter: We must filter out destructive material from our internet systems and media collections. Commercial products can be useful as a first step in providing filtering and monitoring services on our computers and cell phones. Beyond that, we must learn to internally redirect focus away from pornographic material, and toward more positive, uplifting material.
E - Exemplify: We cannot expect our children or others to follow advice we are not ourselves willing to follow. As we exemplify positive manhood, positive womanhood, joyous marriage, and appropriate intimacy, we provide a model for our children and others to follow, rather than the destructive and dehumanizing models presented through pornography.
N - Neutralize: We can learn ways to counteract the negative impact of pornography on those exposed to it. This is especially important for those who have become addicted to porn. Also, the wives or significant others of those so addicted often suffer a deep sense of betrayal and trauma. Resources are becoming available to help heal these wounds, and restore a sense of safety, assurance, and hope.
D - Delight: We can learn to delight in the positive qualities of other people, of the world around us, and of appropriate intimacy. Despite the growing influence of pornography, the world remains a magnificent place of learning and positive possibilities; and the internet remains a powerful resource for learning, connection, and growth. We can learn to effectively immerse ourselves in these positives, while avoiding the significant dangers and challenges presented by pornography.