Women learning of a partner's porn use and/or infidelity online describe a wide range of feelings and responses. Use the list below to identify which reactions have affected you. Circle the appropriate number to rate the intensity of each reaction.
0-None 1-Mild 2-Occasional 3-Moderate 4-Strong 5-Overwhelming
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Intense feelings of fear |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Feelings of helplessness |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Concern about contracting a sexually transmitted disease |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Inability to look at your spouse without being reminded of his sexual behavior |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Disturbing dreams about your partner's sexual behavior |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Worrying that your partner thinks about other experiences and images when you are together |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Tendency to be suspicious and accusing |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Flashbacks in which you relive the worst parts of the experience |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Being reminded of your partner's behavior by entertainment and news media stories |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Have a hard time being in public places with your partner |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Physical symptoms, (eg.headache, nausea) when you see things reminding you of the behavior |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Spending a lot of energy trying to avoid thoughts about the behavior |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Trying to act like everything is fine in your relationship when you're around others |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Behaviors to distract you from thinking about it (excessive sleep, reading, media, eating, etc.) |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Holding back from people who used to be close to you |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Avoiding sexual contact with your partner |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Getting distracted easily |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Having a hard time participating in things you used to enjoy |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Having difficulty performing important roles (such as employee or parent) |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Feeling like you are different from everyone else |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Feeling like you don't belong anymore, when you are in social settings |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Feeling ashamed and embarrassed when you are in public |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Using a lot of energy pretending to feel things you think you should |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Having difficulty falling asleep |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Becoming increasingly angry in response to your partner |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Being more critical in conversations with your partner |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Feeling more emotionally on edge than you used to |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Find it hard to focus on what is going on around you |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Feeling the need to monitor your partner's behavior |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 | Constantly trying to read your partner's emotions |
Adapted from "Love You, Hate the Porn," Chamberlain and Steurer, pp. 57-59, and the work of Drs. Kevin Skinner and Shondell Knowlton (www.growthclimate.com)
